Chapter 1 Hell - Here I Come

 Chapter 1     Hell    Here I Come

Not long ago my doctor at the University Medical Centre informed me that  my diabetic condition was nearing a stage whereby I had to undergo dialysis .I was initially devastated at the news.Nevertheless I recover my composure within a short time and listened patiently as what the doctor had further to say.

Nothing amusing really as I was quite  saddened at the news.Anyway according  to him my position was left with only 12% functionability.He went to extort that I should get prepared to make way for dialysis in the further shouled it deteriorate  to 7% or so.Very bad indeed but there I still got some time left to ponder about the whole issue.

On my way home  many things ran through my mind.Dialysis would mean that much money will had to be spend.To squander away what I now poccessed through years of hard work would definitely be out of question.Further as it is every family members seem to be having a better life style and happiness and for me to levy any burden on anyone of them  would be rather unfair.Oh no cannot destroy what they had strived so hard for.

No doubt they all were duty bound to help  out but that ought not be the case if I can help it.Presently they have their own family to attend to,so they should stay as they are and not be burden by me in any way.My very existence is actually very much in significant.For me the world is over and I am of no commercial value of any kind.Presently I just loiter around the house performing nothing useful except maybe play a little bit with my grand children.That is my present joy any way,other than that I am just nothing.

I dread the moment when I were to  be liability to them.Perhaps as a silly stinking old man around the house where  I would be a pathetic sight to behold,so much so one fine day I had to be chucked into some stupid old folks home to rot away my remaining days.So considering all these,it be better I terminate my very  exsistence in this world with a happier note without offending or burden to any one let alone my  immediate family members.This way I would well remembered rather than as a silly old fool whom they hated.

I am now seventy-two and the Good Lord has been extremely kind to me to have extended my dear life for another twelve years and another twelve would be great But one cannot expect so many good things bestowed on me.Therefore I am thankful to the Lord for granting me such a wonderful life and everything that came along with it.So I have no regrets should He  decide to terminate all these.


To be COntinued.