Chapter 10 Girls Girls Here I Come

At Bentong Estate,I was just a lonely boy,lonely and blue.I dwelt in sweet dreams of winning the heart of a certain girl but fate had it that I was way off target.

Now that I had the simplest of all qualification my destination could be aimed at.Very true that qualification can lead me not far but there was nothing i can do to improve that.Well I can not ask for what were beyond my own ability but I can worked hard to achieve something 

So with my experiences in planting of rubber I applied to be cadet planter of some Agency.Daily thereafter I would watch out for advertisement for those positions.I need not wait long before I saw the Guthrie ad. for cadet planters and applied for it.While my application went in I kept my fingers crossed. 

Meanwhile the Manager sent to various courses at the Rubber Research Institute.He also sent me to the Outward Bound School,Lumut for leadership training.Besides all those I also went for examinations offered by the Incorporated Society Of Planters.Initially I sat for the Soils Science examination and obtained an instant passed but I did not get through with the Estate Practice (rubber)paper.

Those days  I had no intention of chasing any girls then but that soon changed drastically when my brother brought me news that the one I had loved had married.Got married,that was the most unbelievable and impossible news I ever received.Yes,I was stunned and felt dumbfounded.

That really sunk my heart.I was deeply hurt by that news. which I had never anticipated.Had I been a brave man that would have  been my final days on earth but never I turned coward.I never dared or dreaded those moments.I grieved over but had no guts to finish myself over it.

Fate indeed had been cruel to me.Should that be fated I therefore had to accept it graciously most important I got to live on.There were so many more beautiful girls around.I tried consoling myself by going all out to seek a replacement?. A replacement???????

.I begin dating girls left, right and in the center.A young man like me definitely went places.But admittedly,it was impossible to forget that girl, lest not to think of another replacement it would never come.Stupidly I still dwelt in my dreams.

There were so many to select from but none came close to her in all respects.I had many dreams about her for many a night which ended with my eyes drenched in tears.Tears shed without a cause now that she was gone for good.

Many girls infatuated me initially but after a  date or two it was always a sad good-bye.Those affairs though affectionate were could not erased the images of her. Those memories continued to haunt me.It came back on and on piercing on my thoughts of her.

Most girls I met were extremely nice and very charming but failed to convince me to forget her.I disappointed all of them and left them in a lurch.No,not that I was  a playboy as most portrayed me as one.. For I left them without dishonoring them. in any way.

Should not willing to continue any relationship be classified as heartless.It would had been worst should I continued those relationship and led them and me into serious temptations without loving any of them.That would be jilting them.That would hurt them most.

I believe it was a heinous sin to begin a relationship with them for start.Infatuation can led us astray and to withdraw in time would had served us both better.Admittedly many girls did really loved me but what were our lives be should the love be only one sided.Can it survived?????.

They say,"Terminating the relationship earlier do not  hurt so much but extending the affair further could disastrous for both". In reality in the last episode I did made a final decision in selecting one of them to marry one of them.

In the moment of glory and in happiness I was blinded by many well wishers and thus making a choice was difficult It was  during the moment of despair where life seem so difficult to bear that the truth were exposed.That would be the moment of decisive decision.The selection would than be limited to either one or nil...

I met my wife while in Bentong.She was a lovey ,slim hair dresser when I met her.We dated for sometime while I also saw other girls.I dropped her as usual for the same reason which I think hurt her very much,so much so that she left her home town thereafter to work else where.

Then I dated other girls which did not worked out the way I wanted them be.Similarly all were never better than the one I left behind in my home town.I flirted around without making a choice.As usual I would ride to town with friends chasing girls every where.

One of my childhood friend came and worked for me.He was Chong Suan Hoe and with him we went after s couple of girls from the Lipas New Village of Bentong.He  courted a girl much older than him much to the dismay of his mother.

Of course she had a friend whom I could had made love to but I left her alone.Could yo believe that.Girl served on a platter and I did noteven touch her????. Well,I had the policy that should you not love the girl do not harm her.That what I did?.Had it been a wolf she would have been eaten alive.

While in Bentong there were at least two occasions where I got drunk.Recalling back I was never a drinker and it happened at the Manager's party.A Gurkha watchman happened to be drunk at the party and was condemning the Manager and become a nusceince.Out of no where I came told him to bulge off of which he challenged me to a fight.I accepted and he sunk off and left.With every one laying praises on me I drank more.

Not for long,that guard came back sith his 'kukri"( Gurkha knife).Shouting at me," If I throw this knife it would chopped off your legs"."Try it" I replied after a few drinks,"we would see who die". We thought he would perform his act which really put fright into me. Strangely he walked away in shame.He was never what he claimed to be.That made me quite a hero,dared to face that man with weapon.

By then I had drank a bit too much and it seem was also talking nonsense.Drunk as I was I had quite a moment with some women whom I hardly knew.Strange things beyond our wildest imaginations do happened.True or false I dare not think of them but that too were related to me later on.I rather not discussed it here.I assure you those were quite embarrassing moments.

That guard left our service thereafter.These people were good guards but once they get to like those strong drinks heaven help them.They were easily adapted top those drinks and become drunkards.

Another occasion was at marriage dinner of a villager.That day I had one drink too many and was drunk.Fortunately no untoward incidence happened.Thereafter I never dared touched any drinks again.In plantation life style  should I want to live up to it ,it never was any big deal.

Everyone especially those contractors  would be ever  willing to spare me any drinks Of course that would have been disastrous because we could be tied to obligations towards them..To me that would be corruption of the worst kind.Others may supply you the free liqueur  whereas you give up your life  consuming them.

In early June 1966 I received news of my application to Guthrie's.I was invited for an interview with them.To the interview I went and I secured the job as probationary Assistant thereafter.I got the news in May and served my Manager a month's notice.

Without a douibt I jumped at it joining them in July 1966.