Dead Man's Tales Chapter 10 Briefly Something About Myself

Shhhhh...  I have been writing so much about others.Now,what do others think of me? I do not know.Yeah maybe good and maybe very bad.Perhaps it be better I stretched it by writing it all by myself. That should be something different  - yeah why not?.Like to know what I think of myself  ???????????. Should be interesting.

The whole episode could be discriminating as I would surely write all the good things about myself.On the contrary It should not be.My writings on myself could be selfish and bias.Well,in that case you be my judge.

I was born in 6th.June 1942in Telok Intan,Perak.My earlier childhood were spent along Anson Road.This road have both ends meeting both sides  of the meandering Sungai Perak.In fact there was a canal joining these ends long long time ago.Now  that canal does not exist at all,only a road by that name took over it.

Those days sand mining  from the opposite banks of the river were common activities.Many people's  livelihood depended on that. Anson Road those days was almost like the main road of the town as it catered for farmers from the interior of the opposite banks to bring in their crops to the market for daily consumption of the town folks.

 I and my other siblings used to watch all these activities drifting by almost daily specially in the morning hours.Those were the days of man hauling carts (utilizing full used of their brute strength to pull the huge wooden carts) and bull lock carts.All fully loaded with produces from the interiors across the river.Lorries and other means of transport were little known.

Hosts of hawkers selling all sort of food stuffs passed our house daily in the mornings as well as the evenings.The hawkers carried their food to be sold in baskets.Some of them had bicycles and carts.They made known their presence by calling out aloud what they sell to attack customers. Those food were cheap but sad to say there were not much money around for all of them.

Come the temple festival of the Hindu temple also situated mid way along Anson Road.The whole stretch of the entire road would be filled with throngs of Indians worshipers.The celebration would go on for at least three days.On those days you would find Indians every where day and night.Sleeping or resting along five foot ways.

A lot of food and Indian things would be on sales.Those were the days when we as kids would follow those procession of worshipers in trance at the rythmic chantings of "Wai,wai  -   Alo gra". Plenty of noises but it was real fun to us kids.Many a times some in trance were pieced with huge and long needles with weights hanging at the ends.Quite dreadful to watch.

Our house was situated opposite the General Hospital and only a stone's throw from the Primary School (Anglo Chinese School).I began my schooling there at the age of seven.Those days no standard uniforms and everyone were free what their parents could afford.As a small child I usually ran around the house naked.As I grew old I had only a short on that was all until I attend school.

For me and my brother we always had baggy short tailored made by our mother and cheap t-shirts.Our sister was lucky because Convent school had their uniforms those days.Such being the case we were targets of discrimination by the richer and well dressed boys.But we were never alone for there others in similar boats. 

 Just because our cheap shirts bored those prints as ABCD I was made fun of by one fatty rich brat naming me Assistant Bullock Cart Driver.He further called me in"Cantonese Pig,After a full dinner then only wash your body" in Hokkien.I reiterated by calling in reply,"Fatty,fatty Bom,bom,oooroang churi jangong",that sent him fuming mad at me but he cannot catch me because he was so fat . Well it was fun then I think.

As a kid we do not have any pocket money as our parents were poor.I remembered the days that I had to climb tall coconut palms to pluck coconuts without our parents knowledge of course.I would do the plucking  with my brother  the navigator,directing me which nut to pluck at the base of another tree.Actually we were stealing from our own garden.

Those days I was scared of nothing,ignoring the fatality that might had happened should I made the slightest mistake of my life.It could mean certain death,falling from those heights.Thinking back send a fear down my spine but as kids I had shown random recklessness without any responsablities at all.Well,kids left alone can indulged in all activities beyond imaginations.

Well,we did and that was not the only naughty thing I did when young.Like  any other  kids I fought with many boys but those days without fear of losing.With company such as Chong Suan Leng I was damn daring.Outnumbered or bigger sizes do not bother me because I will never lose a fight. For he was hell a lot of taller and stronger than me.

With him we even went on  stealing spree.Yeah we stole sugar cane and oranges from neighboring gardens and what not.The coconuts I plucked were sold to a "kachang putih" seller in the neighborhood.The nuts went cheap at 20 cts or lesser per nut.Alt least we had some pocket money to  buy sweets ,Ice cream "potong" and cakes from the hawkers.  

When about ten years old or so we often chasing kites,come kites flying season.Chasing kites were such fun those days.To day those activities were banned for good.I remembered the days we made our own kites that could soared the skies high,high above.And most all made string lased with fine glasses for kite fighting.

We were never so lucky as we fabricated all our own toys from wood and bamboo.We were sharp shooters with catapults. Believe me I can easily bring a bird down with that.Playing marbles or tops,all simple to us.We can easily beat Tom Sawyer anytime at any things he can do.So Sawyer step aside.

At twelve I walked  a first girl friend home.No big deal really as the girl was staying with my uncle then so I just accompany her along the way.That sweet little dame called Dolly.Compared to her I was a shorty just fancy that,much to he delight of Chong Suan Leng who teased me as I passed his house.What a big led down?.

All wonderful things must come to an abrupt end,ours were no different.For when I was thirteen or so the inevitable happened.Our house was sold away cheaply.What a drastic end to the once Cheah family's fortune.Their final property which the old lady held on for so long must now be sold away unwillingly.

With that we were forced to live a tiny room cum office along Immigrant Road where our father had his timber business.All of us crammed in that small room but we survived.Our mother had to return to tap rubber for some holders along Sungai Nibong,leaving us alone to fend for our self most of the time.

Our lives took a drastic transformation as we faced a very different set of people there.We mixed with the children of the jetty workers as well as shop keepers.Vulgarity was a way of life there so we had to adapt all those as we involved ourselves more and more.Running shirtless and bare footed were nothing and like them I followed suit.

For the first time I had to fight my own battles for there be no one to assist me.Yes I find myself alone.By sheer accident I was once picked up to fight by a bigger boy.In fear I put my fists to defend myself and in that spite of seconds I left off a right hook.It came like a flash out of no where.

Nor did I know whee the strength came from but it took the bigger guy down with that hook.Sending him reeling to the floor at the cheers of all presence.Instantly I was declared a hero with a powerful punch.

I became a celibraty leaving the bigger a stunt loser with no reply lying forlornly on the ground.In reality had we continued to fight I think I would the ultimate loser but there was no fight thereafter.That I supposed was going to be the beginning of another rowdy in the making.I moved around town with them quite often.Thinking back I agree those were ugly scenes of my life.

Fortunately there was a rive nearby and we passed our time there swimming especially during high tides.The tides there varies from time to time.Thee was a mangrove swamp area where we frequented diving from as high as twenty feet above the water from a tall mangrove tree.Dangerous indeed but as kids what do we understand all we wanted was to have good fun for us.All of us could swim like a fish.

I once attempted to swim across that part of the river during low tide but the swift flowing river drove fear into my system and I swam back forgoing the attempt.There were no doubts that I can do it.However I never made another attempt.Those attempts in chasing for drifting durians made us all great and fast swimmer,no joke.So can my brother.

For a dollar or two I and my brother had done the unthinkable of us.A shameful act? Perhaps so, but money earned the hard way not stolen or cheated for it were honest, hard earned money.Following those boys we went carry funeral banners once.Of course we dread those moments we did that but never dared tried again.At least we had experienced it to relate the story.

Our reward were only two ringgit and with that we had some pocket money.At least we made some cash which we never waste away unnecessarily.We brought breakfast for ourselves.Remaining money we kept for days that followed. 

Anyway our roaming in that areas were limited as due to total failure of our father's business forced us into a change.We shifted into a rubber plantation which was two miles from town.Our lives styles took another changed.Instead of living in the urban township we were now in the rural rather a rubber estate.

Our mother had a tapping job there and she was given a one room laborer's  line.So forced with no choice all of us had to shift into that small room. It was tiny but somehow we managed.I was fifteen then.

Now instead of the concrete jungle we now faced the rubber trees and mosquitoes.Majority of the workers thee were Indians plus a couple of Chinese families.All housed in two long rows of labor lines.Here we had different set of friends both races Indians and Chinese.All children of the estate's workers.

These were poorer people like us and we mixed freely with each other.In certain ways it was a change for the better,because I need not behaved like a rowdy.Instead of roaming on the streets we now know how to fish or set traps.Catching a snake in the water was no more a big deal.We now swim in small shallow streams no more dangerous crocodile infested river.

Everyday we had to cycle to school on old bicycles and at times by bus.During weekends we would aid our mother in cleaning latex cups.When there were no firewood we had to collect them from the fields.Many a times we had to climb up the rubber trees to cut them down.In  our free time we would now either go fishing or catch fighting fish in those swallow drains.

For the first time I show interest in girls.There were many beautiful girls living in that estate.I may showed interest but still quite shy to talk to them.Any way most girls always took me as a small boy.

We were quite lucky as we were always requested to go down to Kuala Lumpur for holidays.Not so much of holidays actually,because it was our dear grandmother who wanted to see us.That why our Auntie had to send for us.All expanses paid by her.Even after the demised of our dear grandmother she continued sending for us to be there.That was how I got attached to  rubber planting.

Our grandmother loved each everyone of us dearly especially my brother and sister.Me? my goodness,she of course loved me as well but ever since a child I was always chased by her with a cane.Beat me up? 

No way,first she loved all of us dearly. Every time she gave chased me sounded as only lamed threat,trying to frighten me that was all,much to the pleasure of my other siblings.Even at my Auntie's house she did the same when my cousin sister and brother complaint to her about me,also at the pleasure of the two of them. 

Secondly she was  our dearest grandmother and till  the date she passed away she never actually laid a cane on me because she loved all of us dearly.One unforgetable thing was she bestowed the nickname  "Ngau Ching Leong" on me because as a kid I was already known for my bad temple and hyper active.That was the name of a hot temple hero those days or what?????.

Her death left a gap within our lives.We definitely missed her dearly.May she rest in peace.

Coming back to residing in the rubber plantation.Life in a rubber plantation was quiet and life style very regimented as it would be lights off after 10 p.m. and switched on again at 5 a.m. the following morning .Those were for all the workers of that plantation but for me I was always off to town with my friends.

Initially it was mixing with some school mates ,we went roaming and singing.Yeah we were a happy lot.Sad to admit that took a sudden a changed after I meet a girl  when I was sixteen.It was love at first sight for me at least.I became a quiet boy escorting her to church and what not.

That soon took a drastic transformation as I was told to get lost by her mother.That really hurt me dearly for as I left her house that very moment tears flooded my eyes drenching my entire face.In shame and bowed head I slowly walked away with my bicycle.

Sensing something wrong someone having pity on me did called out for me but in shame I dared not even looked back.I walked away as if I did not hear a word.I turned towards the road leading farther away from town and cycled on.I cycled on until the tears of my face were dried up.All the way my mind went blank and numb for now at least I understand that poor boys had no rights to love anyone,let alone fall in love.

That very day my character took a right turn for the worst.Yeah,I became a bad,bad boy.So as Elvis Presley songs related,"If you are looking for trouble? You have come to the right place".There were no more fears within my soul for I was already bad.

I went mixing with another rougher band of boys.We were then the foursome and we were mean.Starring at me would mean trouble.Many gangsters wanted us to join them but we stayed aloft on our own.We feared no one but most feared us that were the difference.

Mixing with those new friends nearly landed me into big troubles as we were once invited to join another gang to fight some other gangs for territory control.Acted smart saved us actually as we refused to march into the fight with the rest.We went in from another angle which proved correct,failing which would fatal for all of us..

For laying in waiting was a police trap.As we took our position from another angle we sensed the trap and immediately escaped from the wretch placed.Thus we escaped being prosecuted.However, the police were on our heels had no evidence in hand to arrest us.They could only suspects us.They identified me from a distance,pointing me out to the School Principal,That was all.

Actually that was sufficient to shake the guts out of me.Turning bad just because of a girl,was it not that stupid of me?.Love is blind so  they said so was I ,blindly and madly in love.I had every intention of winning he back and I knew deep within me that, that should not  be the way out.To win her I must go to work and work my way into something worth while to convince her was utmost important.

It was near the School Certificate Examinations so I decided to study real hard while at the same time roamed the streets as though I was really rubbish.Yes,I led a life of Doctor Jekyll and Mr.Hide.It was tough all the way.I roamed until twelve then returned to my studies until the wee,wee hours of the morning.Burning mid-night oil was difficult which nearly paid off.Many believed I was a written off,was I?.

I failed in that attempt in the Examinations but a repeat as a private candidate saw me through the following years.With that my prospect in planting improved.By then we had shifted out of the rubber estate and was residing in a rented room in Pasir Pedamar Road,Teluk Anson.

A holiday in Kuala Lumpur saw me through to a job in the plantation.Thus I joined an estate in Tainping thereafter.Initially I dreaded the moments in the rubber estate which were full of mosquitoes.Working on the plantation can be quite lonely as we could not mixed freely and worst of all out neighbors were miles apart.

Fortunately I never took to sm0king although initially were to smoke away those swam of mosquitoes and I never like to drink strong liqueur as most do.That was why I was not so sociable as most planters.You do not drink with them you were not one of them so I preferred to stay quietly alone.

When drinking like them other vices followed such smoking ,gambling and womanizing.For reasons beyond my control I abstained from all of them.The loneliness forced me to look for a girl friend there whom I though could replaced the one I left behind.

But sad to admit to no avail as after a memorable passionate first kiss I left her stranded.It was one of the sweetest kiss I ever had I could remember how it tasted and never forgotten.My leaving left her stunned with ange.

 I regrated my action very much as I had jilted a wonderful and beautiful girl.I cannot help so help me God I rather hurt her and allowed her be angry with me than to cheat her all the way.That would be unfair to either one of us.I could not continue to cheat her while in my heart still carried the face of another whom I loved dearly.

Maybe I was selfish in many ways but I think it was for the good of both.Look I only kissed her passionately nothing more.At least in regret I still bore her warm and sweet kiss within my soul for a long,long time to come.Her memories still had a space in my heart.

Following I was transferred to another estate farther up north in Selama Town.All these places were very lonely places although I made a couple of new friends but we were miles apart as usual.And to call on them were never easy.So friendships remain casual not special.

In 1963 I was again on transfer.This time to Bentong,Pahang.There I was placed in charged of a second division and I had to travel every morning to that division.I often traveled at quite high speed which hurt me real bad.Yeah,I over shot over a small clift into a fast flowing stream.I was still  on my bic when it landed among the rocks below with cuts over my forehead.

As normal I had no many friends in Bentong either.I was living on the top floor of our office.Fortunately that place was near to the village where I had my breakfast and drinks daily.Here too I did not mixed freely with anyone.I only had some friends in town.To avoid being lonely I went into town almost every evening.

It was here that I received news from brother that the someone I was infatuated with was married.That of course devastated me.I was sad by the new  and did not know what to do.In sorrow I begin flirting  around with any beautiful girls I came across.That was how I meet my wife.But at those sad moments I just fooled around with all of  them as I still  cannot forget her.First love was difficult to get by.

After the sad news came the good one as I was accepted to join Kumpulan Guhtrie as a Probationary assistant.It was by no means showed that I was on the road to a better future.But to no avail as it came in just a littletoo late as now I had lost the one I really loved completely.

So with little joy I joined Guthrie's.To make matters worst I got into the bad books of the Manager.My being from the Chinese owned plantation did not impressed the Manager.With a series of unwarranted mistakes I was  written off and demoted to The Cadet Training Centre.In actual I was never given a chance to even prove myself.

It was not that bad  as it seem to be actually as I now was trained by plantations of both world - the Chinese and now the white men,not necessary the best.I think it did made me a better or well accomplished planter with all those experiences.It surely was showing in the future.

Here I met with a host of Malaysian planters.There were the good and the bad all I had met with.I also learned to play poker with them and lost some money.Let call them paying"school fees"and  only way getting to them.You pay to learn.In actual fact I gained a lot,but I never took up to drinking,gambling nor smoking.

I also had my first taste of corruption at its worst.It sounded funny but this was the blunt truth.Just because the white Manager went on long leave to go home.all the contractors had to entertained him lavish farewell dinner,dance parties in Cabarets  and showered expensive gifts for him as well, as his children who were in U,K..We were of course roped in as accomplices (all the Assistants). How ridiculous?.

This were common affairs in plantations but all these were corrupt practices.Therefore I said should anyone be sacked it should had been the Manager not me.I have seen those bad bad things but it never made one of them  and I discouraged all my subordinates to  practice as such.Had I been greedy I would be a rich man now in retirement or the worst could had happened to me.It never pays to be corrupted.

I had another disappointing outing in joining Ulu Selangor Estate,Kuala kubu as its Manager.The short stinct nearly made me forgo planting for good.I had some misconception of how the estate ought to had to be run while the Director favors something else.Should I be the Manager it should be me that ran the show not someone else .I do not want just to be a puppet.

Getting sligthly agitated with planting I was next given a job at a Sawmill in Karak,Pahang by a relative.It never did worked well for me either as the place were full of staffs who were also similarly relatives of the Boss.

To me that was no big deal.What troubled me were others coming in and making all sort of accusations against me just to get some favours from the uncle.Some elders would claimed that I never respected them,showing off my arogrance against them and what not?.Some how the call to return to planting grew seemingly greater and greater.It was in my blood all along,so I took and turn and returned to it.

In oct.1970 I was once again in planting in St Andrew Estate,Batang Berjuntai,Selangor.I became its Manager only a month thereafter.The rubber estate was ill equipped with staffs and I had to do most of the things myself with the aid of some "kanganies".Can be said I almost handed most of the jobs single handedly.Junior staffs came and went and were never of much used.

In addition I had two small plantation to handle.One in Kerling the other in Kajang.Later I was given a land rover to run about these areas.Despite the amount of work loaded on me I still managed to convert most the areas in the estate proper as well as in Kajang from poor yielding rubber into oil Palm.The replanting quickly brought in vast profits for the Boss.

I was there for exactly ten beautiful years before I ventured into business.However,choosing the wrong partners proved to be fatal for me for I suffered heavy loses thereafter.The huge failure made me realized that planters like me ,do not make excellent businessman.Another thing for sure was,  never indulged it it unless you fully know the business involved fully.Not having sufficient capital proves another turning point for it.

In disappointment  I shifted entire family off to take refuge in Bentong.There we did odd jobs for our in-laws for survival .At this stage it was most important to keep the whole family together irrespective of how we do it..Our working with the in-law went on for another few months before I secured another job with Sri Jaya Oil Palm Estate,Sri Jaya,Pahang.

The white men do not want me but fortunately there were Chinese owned company who would risk taking me into their fold.Elated I joined that plantation as its Manager.It did not mattered much to me as I faced plenty of hostilities as I moved into it.It was simple because after what I had been through I therefore with my experiemces knew how to be patience,worked hard honestly,taking each day at  time.

Keep abreast within my soul that I put my family first.Their well being was my priority.Absolving each day by itself with due cautiousness and never taking things for granted.In that I adhered to double checking all instructions I issued.My staffs maybe below average,so what I had to do well with what I had? So I pushed home my pints of view by drumming weekly into them.That put unwilling subordinates on their heels.

To please the Boss I began  by first improving its road system without incurring extra costs.Clearing of most backward fields of huge bamboo grooves and reclaiming vacant land to be supplied with oil palm.Any planters would had shrieked at the first sight of those awfully old Ford blue tractors.Most more than fifteen years old and I inherited some thirteen of them. 

Fortunately I found out there were traders dealing with old Ford tractors parts in Gambang.With their existence my problems were overcame as we need not relied on new expensive spare to run those old junks.That pleased the Boss.

Because with me nothing were impossible and I had all in running condition by daily inspections.It was so so simple.Of course with my experience these wewre nothing.Within three months I moved into the new bungalow which my predecessor was not allowed to step in even.A hefty increment followed and maintained at that level in years that followed.That came with better bonuses.

The Mill Engineer had  always been our  folds but within my stay there I managed to turn the table on them.All it took was  be a little humble in admitting and absolving all the faults ourselves and never fight them.That proved to be the turning point and until  then I slowly crept in to gain the upper hand on them.

There was the cocky Engineer Ong whom later became my good friend before he left.Another Mill Manager Albert Tey was without the slightest doubt my friend,All these meet with much scorn of Loo Poh Wai the god son as he claimed of the Boss.He was throwing his weight around until I caught him by the throat and he was removed by the Boss without knowing why he was rejected.Poor fool.

Here too I almost single handed most of the affairs of the plantation.It was difficult to locate responsible assistant for that matter.I had some who tried to  usurp my position by trying to back stabbed me but with my strong position in the eyes of the Boss their actions only scratch my back slightly.Most of them unreliable had never learn how to behaved.

 However with my abilities those were nothing  should they be not up to par with my standard I can easily rectified them all by myself.In simple I only respect those assistants who did like wised.Should they be not be with me than they ought to be my enemies and I do not tolerate those against me.The fittest survived and the weaklings vanquished. 

That was me,of course.I served that plantation for nearly fifteen years.Fifteen b\wonderful years where I worked the hell out of myself as if that property were mine.Treatment from the Boss was good as long as I could be of service to him or at least I thought the Boss had full confidence in me.But it sucked the hell off me  when  I got ill and requested a simple loan from him for my medical bills.He refused me flatly.MY insurance he brought for me was nothing better than the ones my worlers got from SOCSO.How ridiculous but the truth?.How do you think I should have though.

Yes!!! I was made complete sucker by the one I entrusted my fate.Those were the moments I regretted for being honest and worked so hard for him.Yes -  it does not pay.I respect those who dared defied their Bosses and swindled them dry.Had I done that I would be wealthy today on retirement but no I never did that.

Mainly because I have my family to care for and it was my responsibility to see all my children go through happily in life.A better life than that I had.I could not afford to make the slightest mistakes of my life,that was why I stayed straight despite all the opportunities popping around me.Would you believe me that once a contractor handed me a blank signed cheque?.Of course I refused it and demanded he apologized to me  before  I hand it over the Boss.It was  a damn stupid act of mine,believe  me.

In my days of retirement I now spent my  time walking around,does a bit of sketching and had an occasional "teh tarih" or so daily mostly on my own.Well my brother came and had lunch with me at least once  month,yes how thoughtful of him really.Nothing big only curry rice at Kanna restaurant.The gesture was really good from  brother.

A planting friend Mr.Lim is my regular visitor as he comes in at least once a week and we had food and drinks together.He was a neighbor of mine in Pahang,but he resides at Sri Damansara.Very kind of him indeed.Other than that no other friends called on me.Not forgetting Albert Tey who kept me in touched on facebook.

I was forced to leave that plantation om recovering my fourth stage of Luekaimia (AML). The burden of running that plantation was too heavy for me to bear.Actually I thought that I was not going to live much longer than.Though I was put under remission my state of health was not as before.On resignng I slowly exercised myself back to a much stable stage.With the guidance of the good Lord who was compassionate and grace towards my well being I slowly and steadily  survived thus long.Praise the Lord for His everlasting love for all of us.

Most planters like me are quite lonely persons who does socialized very much.Should I be one I would been a heavy drinker,smoker,gambler or even worst a womanizer.I am neither all these.Much of the time we now wanted to be near our family because we had failed to do so in the past.Mixing with others were not much.Mainly because we and others do not speak the same topic most of the time.We were not business men.What we yearned about would be nonsense to others anyway.

These days I indulged in sketching and drawing a lot not as a professional but as a hobby.Next I be on my computor,what else just bogging on and on.I am what I am time and tide does or cannot transssssform me much.Many had expected me to be lowly when age catches up with me,can be done.frankly after such a long career in planting what were experienced daily within me cannot just go away even with time.Call it career stressed if will but it was the truth.That is why I am as normal ruthless.Rome was not built in a day so am I.

In short I am frank straight forward  and extremely honest.I dislike people who betrayed my trust in them in that I am revengeful,so God help me.AS  kid I was known to be hyper active and always had things my way.My transformations in life styles as a kid made more aggressive and in many ways arogrant.Not only that I had learned to fight my own ability.The size of opponents never bothered me I fight even he were stronger than me.

As a planter I was made to struggle most of my days upwards.Nothing came easy for me throughout,so what do expect me to be.I the end I even subject myself to harassment from many were more superior to me in status then.Pretend to 







To continue.  maybe.







to be continued