Dead Man's Tales Chapter 19 The Loves Of My Entre Life

Everyone had fond memories of certain old loves and I am no different.As far as I remember I initially began to like girls at a very tender age.

Yeah I remember at twelve I met a lovely tall girl - sort of new girl in town.She was a relative of my uncle in Teluk Anson and had just shifted in from Penang.I met her by chance.Her attractiveness and tall chaming personality at the age that young age caught my attentions.

We got on well just as friends nothing materealized actually Sort of puppy love.There were certainly some misfits here as she was comparatively taller compared to my deminutively small stature and undoubtedly fairer than me .However also due to my shyness I drew away and kept my distant.Well just some simple infatuation noting more in reality.She was around for only a short spell before she and her family shifted away to another part of town.There went every thing and nothing continued from thus.It was out of sight and out of mind.

After that we transferred home  to Immigrant Road for a short period.Thereafter followed  by  another changed of environment .This time for the worst to a plantation quarter where our mother worked as a rubber tapper.It was a one room quarter where by our whole family of five had to squeeze in the small space therein.It was never comfortable but we got by.Beggars were no choosers.I was then in form four.Here the comfort of electricity was limited so were the water supply as well as lacking of wash rooms etc.But whatever it was we faced them without much difficulties.

Despite all odds stacked against us our dear sister persisted well studying under the dim lights of kerosene lamp in that she surprised everyone with  astonishing results in her school certificate examinations.She was in fact the best student in Lower Perak that time with five distinctions,an achievement to be laud those days.With that she was selected to undergo a teachers' training course in Brinsford Lodge,UK.

With her gone to U.K. we remained residing in the rubber estate called Ratanui Estate.I was fourteen plus then and being young and adventurous we (my brother and I) roamed the whole plantation.running about bare footed as well as shirtless.Mosquitoes bites were common occurrence and they attacked us in frightening numbers.Leeches in the fields etc..They never deter us from running wildly.Neither were we bothered with snakes as we destroyed them on sighting with eased.

 Fishing,swimming in small streams and water gates.Teasing girls around the estate and what not you can think of.For the first time we had to learn how to collect firewood for my own cooking of rice.Here actually we became very tougher than before.At week ends we had  to aid our mother in the cleaning of latex cups.Yeah,I remembered those awful smell of day old rubber in those cups and hardly washed off us.That was why sometimes we smelt like shit.

Our dear grandmother passed away when I was in form four.From then on we were always in Kuala Lumpur during the school holidays.Otherwise we were just kids from the Ulus.It was during those days that I came to know of the most beautiful girl in the world plus a first tastes of Christianity.

When I was fifteen plus,one of my school mate school mate introduced her to me  I was  at his house after a Sunday school service.Her enchanting lovely smile stole my heart away that very moment.Apparently that was the happiest day of my young life.Admittedly that truly was love at sight for me.,as we hit off almost immediately as good friends.

I had fond memories of our first encounter as she wore  a very impressive warm board smile.She then very young and had long smooth flowing long hair always binding them like a horse tail..I was taken by her soft and lovely talk and we became friends that instant on.You can say that I was overwhelmed by her immerse beauty.I can tell that it was nothing like puppy love that was instant love.Yes that awesome feeling embedded within was showing on my red face.My friend noticed my transformation went on teasing me too.Much to her delight.

Subsequently I became a frequent visitor to her house.As I was already in form five her mother requested me to assist her and her other siblings in their studies.My goodness gracious me!!! Why me? I myself ain't good at my studies too,how could I guide them.So I made a fool of myself there.That caused my impression to slip to a low app.,but I struggle on.All because I wished to see her every day.We would attend church cervices together.Escorting to and back from school was another common sight.But alas!!all nice things would soon end.

Because as we go by every morning some one else was watching us closely,...no,not me- it was her he was eying.He was the rich coffee merchant son.Apparently he too had interest in her.When her mother knew about this I was abruptly told to stay away from her instantly.That hurt my heart very much.Without delay I walked hastily away with my bicycle . 

Tears flooded my eyes and over flowed, streaming down my cheeks that very instant as I walked away.My face was completely drenched with tears.I was so hurt . I could not control my emotions.Once on  the main road I cycled away  aimlessly as fast as I could, crying my heart out towards Selaba Estate.I was deeply grieved by the fact that poor boy should not for in love anyone.Only the rich has that right so from on I was determined to perform well in life.

Fate had in deed been cruel to me.But then fate can changed should I work hard to achieve it.Nothing can obstruct my path should I worked towards it so. I was decided to win her back somehow.I then decided to study hard,thereafter secure a good job.All these ran through my mind as I rode on in tears.I rode and rode until my tears could flow  no more.

With that I launch my strategy to study hard to secure a good school cert result.By day I pretended to turn bad real bad,roaming the streets looking for troubles.Deep into the nights I would then study hard until the wee wee hours.That was why I was always sleepy in class.But then no one seem to bother me because I was already classified as bad with no future.

Within that time we shifted off from the estate and lived in a rented room along Jalan Pasir Pedamar.It was a simple tiny room,perched at a corner of a second floor.Our mother was then tapping rubber for small holder for slightly better payments.So only the three of us lived in that room actually.Life was tough as we had to walk all the way to our auntie's house for our food.My examination was due and I had to study as per plan.Here I need no kerosene lamp for there was electricity throughout the night.
 
As soon as the examination was over I snatched the first job opportunity that came by.I joined the rubber plantation,like it or not.At least I had a fresh start in life.Turning bad was not the way out of my predicaments I did it intensionally out of scorned.Should I be no good so let it be I turned bad extremely bad.One thing I like to create an  impression that I was really no good at all.

When I first secured that planting position I immediately joined it.In any case jobs were difficult to come by.Yes,I have came to a reality that turning bad was never the best option out of my problems or to win her back.To perform well in whatever I do was. Whatever it was it stuck on to me for life.Yes that was how I became a planter.and was a damn good one,judging from the tough rough road I had ventured through.

Along the way I met many many beautiful women and I actually had quite a romantic life.In Taiping I met with a couple young beauties.I had no linked with anyone until I met met Penny in tat first estate.I dated her and kissed her for the very first time.That was the first kiss for both of us and mine,mine It surely was very sweet.Yes,I can still remember how it tasted.The kiss was by all means full of fury and ferocious.It left distinctive mark in my entire life.

The kiss was undoubtedly the best but thereafter sad to admit it make me come in term with my senses.How awful,because I realized that kiss should had been reserved for the one  I left behind not her -definitely not her.In actual fact I felt that I had betrayed her and was guilty all over.Oh good Lord I should not have made those advances when my heart was actually a distance away.

So I made a rash decision to leave her alone.That hurt the damn Penny a lot.I could not bear to hurt her further in that I was transferred away to Selama.To another estate far in the interior up north of Perak.To me to suffer a little pain once and for all instead of continue bluffing her and lived on with it.Accordingly she was so hurt felt  that she was sick for sometime but recovered in time to realized that truth.There was no way she could have forgiven me but I cannot help it.I regretted that very much.That ought to be in the interest of both of us.May God blessed her wherever she maybe.

In Selama,initially I led a lonely life with not many friends if any they were miles away.Selama was a cowboy town then,filled with many former members of the Communist Party,where they survived as restricted residences. They actually had surrendered to the Government and given a place to live on under constant Police supervision.Much of such people were drunkards that was why these people gathered at coffee shops for their drinks,just like cowboys drinking and yearning away time.I sometimes wonder where they had so much cash to drink?Not only drink like a fish but got drunk as well. on a daily basis.

Even that I was miles from this town.Venturing out to town through a long length of winding and slippery road was torturous sufficiently enough to bear.On a rainy day it could definitely be worst.And travelling in old bone shakers type of vehicles make those trips terrifying and memorable.Worst of all I was told those road were haunted.Those areas were once the favarite hunting grounds of the bandits and heavily infested by them.Of which many of them incluiding the security forces met their ends.

I was lucky as I was there after the Emergency.Within those `short three months I was there nothing much happened except gaining some useful experiences in replanting of rubber.To be honest I had a  short encounter with a women some  years my senior.It was a short live encounter of which we were intimate for a short spell.She was lovely although older.  Being lonely and in desperation I met up with her.Nothing more romantic developed any further before I was transferred off to Bentong,Pahang under the same Company.

To-date I had not accomplished  anything near to what I had intended previously.No head way and with low salary of which made me quite  miserable .I ahd been in planting for almost five years yet reaching my goal seem adversely impossible./I had hardly settled down in Bentong then came a sudden news celivered to me by my dear  brother that the one I had loved was already married to another.

That was sufficient to set my heart apart.Now that all my dreams apparently devastated by it.In fact I really did consider ending all of such a wretch life once and for all, and contemplated taking my own life  but I was not brave enough to do it.yeah,I was a damn coward it would had been better should I be brave enough to do it.In self pity I drifted into grief.However it was short lived as I soon got hold of myself saying,"What the heck?It is not the end of the world.There are so many more girls around and I might as well make the best of these opportunities and enjoy myself to the fullest."

Armed with that new thought I went into action and began my wild exploitations.Girls were easy to come by in Bentong,I flirted with many of them without a hinge of shame in me.Whatever I do I still could not forget her.Her shadow followed my every steps,every movement with other girls.I jsut could not find another her,so I played around with most of them and leaving them in a lurched.Not that cruel really I was trying to find another woman that could match her.She need not be as beautiful but charming sufficiently to attract me.

Every evening I would be in town searching.beside meeting many others attractive ladies I also met with my present wife.We went steady for a period though,but unfortunately I too dropped her.
half way through our courtship.Thereafter I drifted on to other females.By then may had term,ed me as a playboy.Play boy or otherwise I still had those beautiful moments with some of them.With so many to select from that one I sorted still eluded me.What a shame?.Pardon me for not reviewing any of the females I had affair with here,no use exploiting those cases any further beside unethical.

Following I joined Kempulan Guthrie as a Probationary Assistant but it was shoft lived before I was retrenched after one and a half years'stinct.It was definitely a very bad setback for me as jlining them had actually brighten my career status.Naturally I was devastated and felt at a lost. and there was no one to console me or ever able to lend her shoulder to me lean on.

There were one or two of whom I for saw as unsuitable candidates.Their effect not would induce me to brave on.I actually require someone who could allow me to rely on for a little support.It is true that every successful man needed a woman;s support.That someone whom he could fully trust and give his life to.I ran through my list of other women whom I had affairs with and concluded with one.She is my present wife.

Having that mind another problem was to locate here and would she be available still?.A worthwhile trip to Bentong solved my problem and with much difficulties I secured her where about.See,I was no really that bad as people still led me to her.Apparently in grief after our breakup she had left town to work in Yong Peng.Without hesitation I rushed to that cowboy town.

True enough she was there and was astonished to see me.It was an easy trip for me as I soon realized she still loved me very much.Without wasting we matched up almost immediately to the dismay of many suitors who were aiming for her.True love still the winner here.I took her home and we married at the Registrar almost immediately.

She was more beautiful than before.Slim pretty and very charming.The first moment I saw her again I rediculously fell in love with her all over again for the second time. And this  time is for reality.I knew for sure I had made the correct choice.In deed in her I had a replacement.We have been happily married since and have three children all presently grown up.All my children are all married and have their own children.And we are now grandparents to presently five grand children.

So they say childhood sweet heart were hard to relinquish.Admittedly till tday memories of her still lingers within my soul.But the love for her  had vanished or gone to another - my wife.Men are men even though  had achievements what you harbored in the heart still went astray sometimes.For there are so many wonderful beauties around to fool around with what was the harm in some unusual trips.Well,as long as you play it safe and keep them away from the family's reach it is practically alright.But wife are forever forgiving creatures so should we play our cards right there are still ways out when in troubles. However a word of precaution,"Please do not over do it"."Play you must,but never,never neglect your family".

After my marriage I do ventured a little too far at times.That were blaaaaaaaatant truths.Sometimes tis called the seven years itch.A fling or two are okay to a happy marriage.




To be continued.