CHapter 4 The Dialysis

My first dialysis turned out to be sort of nightmare for me.I was warded at the 8th floor of Menara Temor of the University Centre.Initially everything seem comfortable.Nice bed and well partition with curtains. But as time passed the ward's air condition seem to become cooler and colder beyond my expectations.I had to put on extra warm .

My first dialysis came that very evening,my very first taste of dialysis.Before that they had to insert an opening at the base of my neck.Slightly on the right end of my throat.Not long thereafter I was  carted into the dialysis ward  in my bed.This being so because I could hardly walk on my own there plus also I was attached to oxygen as I had difficulties in breathing.

That ward had many other patients doing the same.Similarly the air condition there  were extremely cold.Later I found out that the air condition for all the wards were centralized air conditioned so the no one in the ward could lay their hands on its control.I had my warn jacket on all the time plus blanket covering.Even with such I seen pretty cold and shivering most of the time.Waiting and listening to the nearby machine perform its duty on.

My thoughts automatically ran astray.What for per session costing somewhat $ 180/=,my blood were thus cleanse for lengthy time of four hours.Before long I had to go through the whole process for another twice per week.With that I am expected to live on.My life brought from hard earned money.It no money no life.What a tragedy to my life.

Another drastic thing and that is I would only be there for two weeks,thereafter to be transferred elsewhere.That being so because the Hospital has no space to cater for so many patients,patients increasing by the day.So my son has to go hunting around keeping our fingers crossed.

The side effects of the dialysis on my body were unbearable pain throughout after the first few session.I could only  lay straight on my bed but dared not row side way or even turn for that matter,,because it aches and crumbed  everywhere when ever I attempt to  turn.Should I sleep on in one position it would okay but too long sleeping in one position aches Bounded helpless in one position,a simple turn one require assistance of others.

But should that happened deep into the night who do you turn to.I had a host of nurses on duty sitting almost across my bed.It would not be nice to arouse them either from their work especially deep inyo the night.So.....Call to the devil they do not answer your plight.On the whole I never slept well those nights.I was quite fortunate as I still could slowly crept to the wash room on my own 

On the third evening I was released from the Ward,what a relief it was to be.Going back to  home sweet home.At home that night I slept in the sitting room for two nights as going up stair for me would be a problem because I could not move around with ease on my own.The first night I  slept on the arm chair .I could only stand up on my own to ease myself and no further.As routine my whole body aches with crumbs through out.AS far as possible I tried not to move so much until morning.

The following evening I tried sleeping on the floor.Nuturally sleeping was more comfortable but still I could not as I pleased especially deep into the night I had to begged for help to come down to assist me but late nights it was difficult even even to wake up the ghosts around.But help did come when my son heard my cries  for help.Mine,what a relief that was.

The next night I felt better and could crept to my own room where I be more comfortable.Although I could stand up and moved around my body still  had aches and crumbs.Still after lying in bed in one position I could hardly moved around as I please for still required assistance to help me.As the night before I had to beg for help.Deep into the night help do not come easily.As per previous night my son came running to me on hearing my helpless cries for help.

All these made me felt so helpless and useless.An old man who has lost all and was no more useful surviving on this earth anymore.To keep me alive will mean more money to be spend.I had always insisted on non dependence on anyone let alone my children but then that had been driven on to them,why it be like that?.I had worked hard my life to give them a comfortable living and now look at this happening.I am restoring or levying some heavy burden on them.

See,they too have their families to care for.I am now useless old man who has nothing to contribute  to any of them should be living on to waste away all the resources.It is not right they sacrificed their happiness so that I live on.
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