Chapter 16 Linda

That was the most beautiful name in Fabian's life.For more than half a century that wonderful name dwelt deep in Fabian's mind.That was the girl he first loved but unsuccessful in winning her heart,all because of his stupid pride,stubbornness and self- built in inferiority complex.

Once upon a time a boy too young to know
Was not so long a go,that boy was me,sings Fabian.
Threw his clothes and troubles in the dust and hit that dusty road
What a shame that so young a boy should carry such a load

Once upon a time a boy knew misery
Was not so long ago,that boy was me.

It was his good friend James who introduced her to him at his house.On that fateful day turned out to be one the best days of his life.Fabian was at James residence when she came a calling.One good look a her and it set poor Fabian's heart a blazed,his heart began swirling round and round in harmonious melody.

It truly was love at first sight never a puppy love.She was very charming armed with very beautiful smile.Soft spoken and smiling as she talked.That enchanted Fabian and drove him out of this world.As they talked James made a remark,"Don't tell me you both are love at first sight".He was damn right it was love at first sight for Fabian.

"No,lah',said a shy Fabian.He was blushing so was she and just continued smiling.No doubt about it.she had already stolen Fabian's heart."Linda come to Church,this evening",asked James,"Fabian also attending,Aren't you?Fabian?",asked James."Oh yes,surely I come and are coming too?",Fabian turning to the pretty girl.

"Oh,yes,I will come",she replied.
"Then,shall I cycled you to Church this evening?'asked Fabian.
"Okay,I wait for you",replied that Charming girl.That actually wrapped up Fabian's heart and thus he was lost forever.

They attended Church services and he also escorted her to school every morning.Alas,things were never a bed of roses,material requirements was seemingly as important as Fabian soon found out.Poor boys are forbidden to fall in love he soon discovered it the hard way and it hurts.

It was a joyous event going to her house but one he soon found out that he was not welcome and told to leave in a very polite way by her step-mother.That really jerked Fabian, dampant his spirit,shattered his heart.Caught by the suddenness of the shock,he softly accepted and moved away slowly.

As he pushed his bicycle out from that house,sad gashing of tears suddenly flowed rapid from his eyes.Both eyes were flooded with unstoppable tears.Soon his cheeks was very wet with the flowing streams of tears.Linda sensing something amiss called out to Fabian.The tearful Fabian dared not looked back but meekly waved with his left hand.

Once on the road he rode on his bicycle ahead with down cast eyes in silence,tears were still flowing.So devastated was he that he remained quiet as he ride towards Changkat Jong Road down to Selaba Estate and further on.He just ride and ride until the tears on his face were dried.

Then on Fabian did not escort her to school,but apparently his position was replaced by a rich,handsome and tall boy.Every morning passed by only to see that rich boy waiting for her.However two two days later he adruptly stopped.Fabian only knew the reason why he stopped waiting for her at Church..

He was caught off guard when Linda demanded to know why he stared at that boy with grudging intentions."What?,I only looked at him.If that was staring angrily ,yes,I stared at him,"replied Fabian walking away in anger.They never talked after that.That only made matter worst for him.

He contemplated that since as an ordinary young man he could not win her then to turn bad,inducing her hate him more will just be great.Yes he went bad real bad thereafter.He never imagined that a good idea,he did it on purpose and to fan his raged against all who down graded him.On the other hand he burnt midnight oil in his studies with intentions to do well.Thus leading a life of Dr Jekyll and Mr,Hyde.

He was studying after midnight until 5.00 a.m. every morning and went to school at 7.30 a.m. and also slept in the afternoon.He made others believed that he was playing the fool and never revised his lessons.Yes he wanted to surprise everyone.To think he was not studying was a grave mistake,he did study.

In his mind he could not forget her, his turning bad was never the way out.Unable to forget her, he planned to win her back the rightful way.The best way then was to finish his studies fast and began working.Only success in whatever work he indulged in, can win her back no other way.

On finishing his studies Fabian immediately secured a job in the plantation,thus began his career in planting Rubber and Oil Palm.Every two months or so he would take leave from his employer to just catch a slight view of that girl he so loved.A short glance was sufficient to satisfy his soul especially on a Friday after school.

Those magic moments when their eyes met in those short seconds.It was enough to send Fabian into orbit.Alas,stories in story books were never true,where the hero after toiling all hardships and can return in triumph to successfully win her love.In reality there was no such rubbish.

In real life once out of way and out mind you are history some one else will stepped in to replace you.For Fabian he had his opportunities when retuning from work but he allowed his pride and self built in inferiority complex to over rule him.Had he taken a positive stand,be humble and have the initiative to tell her the truth it would have at least made a difference if not win her back.But instantly he failed.

A sad news brought by his brother Francis hurt him tremendously,he was shocked beyond words when he received news that she was married.That shattered his dreams.He proved to be a coward if not he would have finished himself off that very instant.There after he vented his anger and went on a romantic spree.

No,no,he never was a play boy but circumstances crowned him one.He sailed from girls to girls,sailors had a friend in every port but Fabian had friends in all plantations he had been to.Disappointing thing was that whenever he was with them the girl he had adored and admired appeared before him and he called out her name,each time he held a new girl.

Yes,who ever he may be with he could not forget her.Seeing that he forced himself to surrender all these new friends.Called it jilting them if you may but he did them without evil intentions.In the end he never wanted to lie to them,that simple.Can he be forgiven?Never,not one forgave him,they cursed him.He had to admit his faults,no way out.

In the end Fabian settled down with the best and have a wonderful family.Fabian remained a good husband and father to his children.He never let them down.

He nearly died of Leukeamia,cancer of the blood but through the Grace of the Lord who was compassionate to him,he survived that ordeal.Praise the Lord for His everlasting love for him.

Ten years on the memories of her remained embedded in him.In his twilight years he meet another whom he thought could replace her but it was late.For when he was willing she was naive and refused,but when she was thinking of acceptance it was was already beyond his capabilities.The spirit was willing but the body has lost its endurance and vigor.Thus Winning he still loses.Losing you lose it was fair but winning and you still lose,God forbade.

In the final episode Fabian still wished her well and hinted that a good glance of her will be a good ending for him.A fitting end?Maybe.




To continued when in the correct frame of mind.